Coming Of Age Final

I was always that girl that got picked last in groups. The one who was classified as the “silent one” as you would put it. Who would do things by herself because she was too scared to know what other people thought. Good or bad. The one who always tried to stay out of people’s way so she wouldn’t be the center of attention. Matter of fact, I was the complete opposite of being social, I was the reserved one.

My life was basically a boring library book. One that would be looked at then looked away from to be put back on a library shelf. I would go to class, learn some stuff, then leave to my next class and do the same. For recess and lunch you ask? I dreaded those periods. I would occasionally ask myself if the BOE put those two periods up just to torture me. I never really had anywhere to go except to classrooms that were open. And if they weren’t, I would go to the library. But what would happen if the library was closed as well? My last resort was the lonely tree at the end of the field. And this one afternoon was where it all started as I started to slowly break out of my lonely turtle shell that shielded out the world for me.

                  It was one afternoon when all my safe havens were closed and I had to resort to the tree in the field. It gave me a nice view of people playing, socializing, and even dancing on the very large field of grass basking in the suns warmth. And while I sat there, I realized the fun in what the other people were doing and comparing them to my thing and what I do mostly everyday. The difference? They were having fun. I wasn’t. I was bored out of my mind solving for "X" and reasons why Max bought 23 apples and insisted on sharing half with his buddy, Jorge, so they were equal. So I thought to myself, why am I like this? This wasn’t a lifestyle; it was a choice a choice I made that I wanted to change. I was tired of having the same schedule every day. Wake up. Go to school. Come home. Homework. Sleep by ten. And do it all over again the next day.  Which was why I packed my stuff in my bag, got out of my tree shade, and joined a group of girls from my advisory class and socialized.

                  At first, it wasn’t easy being that I was new at socializing with people I don’t normally talk to on a daily basis. So it took a while. And after weeks, I kind of got used to their presence. They would include me in everything they did. Whether it was to one of their houses or just some after school hangouts, they changed my social habits. I got used to standing or presenting in my classes whenever asked, greeted people I knew from my other classes who also returned the favor, and even participated in events the school organized.

                  After a couple months I realized I wasn’t that shy lonely girl anymore. That day made me realize that being lonely isn’t the only way to be content and satisfied with your life. Expanding your knowledge to limits you never explored before feels better than incredible. And I remembered that day that I developed an amazing characteristic that I believe everyone should have and cherish forever. And that was faith and trust in others. The only reason I remained soft-spoken and reserved was because I didn’t trust and have faith in anyone because I cared about what they thought and their opinions on me. But ever since then, I’ve had an indifference towards their opinions directed to me only because I can’t be judged by someone else. The only person who can judge me is me. Some people, even teachers, asked me what happened to me. Why I am the way I am now. Or what made me do it. The only answer I could really give them was pretty simple. I wanted a change that I would be happy about. And I don’t regret it one bit.